Saturday, December 1st, 2007
Alicia Keys Doesn’t Want To Get Married
Posted by Bossip Staff
AK recently discussed marriage with JET Magazine:
I’m still figuring out a lot about myself and I’m so not ready to be married at all. That’s such a big commitment. I’m still really young and I still want to find out more about myself so that I can be mature and secure when I move in that direction…..I hope that people would possibly see me as someone who is a great person like them, who has given inspiration and hope and who has done something great for her people
She is smart, it doesn’t really sound like she is checkin’ for this Krucial character real tough. We wish them the best.
Thanks Ashley
Comments (265)
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Topics: Alicia Keys
First bitches!!!!
And second
She is very smart and talented. I wish more people would be more grounded before they got married.
Never been a huge fan of my soror, Alicia. I do, however, admire her carriage and the grace with which she presents herself. Unlike a lot of famous women, she is private and is never caught out in crazy, embarassing situations. She’s the kind of woman you wouldn’t mind your sisters or daughters looking up to.
lesbo
aint that there is anything wrong with that. but come on now. its obvious
that baby hand is working over time, huh?
anyway…its nice to see someone in the industry not rushing into something so serious.
her driver told me she was already married.
That’s good she probably know just as many people as I do that jump into marriage and divorce in the next 2 or 3 years. Or married 10 years and end up ending because they just found out they weren’t compatible just together for the kids sake. And I never saw a group of people so worried about somebody esle’s sexuality.
MOST PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN YOU MARRY A PERSON, YOU ALSO MARRY:
1. Your future
2. Your children’s future
3. Their money or lack of it
4. Their bills
5. Their idiosyncrasies, odd behaviors, ticks, habits, addictions, hobbies,
6. Their family
7. Their family baggage (ex-wives, ex-husbands, step children, in-laws, grandparents, cousins, etc.
8. Their ex-girlfriends, baby mamas, baby daddies, and their children
9. Their cooking and cleaning habits
10. Their friends
11. Their enemies
12. Their discipline
13. Their fame or lack of it
14. Their ignorance or brilliance
15. Their prejudices
16. Their phobias
17. Their psychological baggage
18. Their mental issues
19. Their pets
20. Their mortgages
21. Their car notes
22. Their problems
23. Their sexual issues
I could add a ton more, but you get the idea. Marriage is not to be taken lightly. I’ve been married for over 30 years and I wish young people would contemplate it longer and value it more deeply.
Tell it Al-Anon. As far as AK, I really do adore this girl but a small percentage of the time she come off full of shit. Just my opinion. I am still a fan of her music though..
Marriage is a DUMB institution anyway.”Until death do us part” made sense when we were living 65 years max…But nowadays we’re living into our mid to late 70’s ON AVERAGE.Let’s just say the human race finds a way not to nuke itself into extinction.One can see a point where triple digit lifespans-with most of that being good years-will be rather common.In that scenario I can see marriage being REPLACED by 1,3,5yr.deals.It can’t happen fast enough.Back on topic…GOOD FOR HER!
BTW…speak on it! @Al-Anon
i love this woman -lesbo or not but if she is lesbo - im lovin her 10x’s more
IMPRESSED WITH HER IMMENSE SENSE OF SELF…NOT MOLDED INTO A GENERIC MODEL. LOVING HER MUSIC AND HER RECOGNITION OF SELF WORTH!
I don’t know about y’all but she sounds like she’s in the closet to Me. Girl, you need to call Ellen Degeneres to come and kick your black ass out of that closet…LOL
Who the hell she tryin to fool. She’s just holdin out for Melissa Etheridge to dump her current life partner and ask her to move in. Everybody knows that Alicia prefers a lick over a dick. Her and that Ndegocello lesbo bitch should form a group. They could be the ghetto version of The Indigo Girls.
And by now, it’s pretty obvious that Bossip favors Alicia Keys over Beyonce. If Beyonce made a comment like this, their headline would probably say something like this, “For the stans only:Can Jay-z be the reason why Beyonce’s fake ass doesn’t want to settle down?”
Talk about black on black crime, the disease killing black America.
makes sense alicia
no prob. yall didn’t use any of the pics i see lol
your heading is misleading. She is saying she is not yet ready to be married. She is NOT saying she doenst want to be married.
I have been practicing “Karma” on the piano. I plan to audition for American Idol and actually record the music to use with my vocal performance. You haters on Bossip will be shocked when I make it to the finals!!
Umm, Bossip that’s a misleading header- she says she’s not ready for marriage, not that she doesn’t want to get married.
And just because she isn’t dressed like a whore, or telling everyone about who she’s dating doesn’t make her gay.
And what the hell does it matter if she’s gay anyway?
I don’t know why everyone thinks Alecia is gay, but whatever. I’m not falling for what she’s saying. It will taket he rest of all of our lives no matter how long we live to understand ourselves. If that is what she is waiting for it will never happen. If you love someone you are supposed to trust them at some point or move on. It doesn’t take forever to figure out if they are the one for you.
It’s wrong cuz she got light skin and good hair and should be yearnin for big black dick.
Yeah, this chick is definitely more into women than men.
Good for her, very smart young lady, which is rare this day and age.
Marriage aside…if I were gonna breed…she’d be at the top of the list.She’s just straight up Amazon.
@lamar– why would she want an alleged ”big black dick” if she does get married i hope for her sake it’s with a white or hispanic guy! Black men are bad news and just not husband material, hopefully she’ll get on the fine ass whiteboy bandwagon like a lot of black female celebrities are doing these days.
and black men aren’t the only ones with big dicks,that’s the biggest lie ever told!
They look good together. I love me some Alicia Keys. She seems like the around the way girl. The real around the way girl. Not MS. keysha cole. lol what block ya’ll live on?? Not oversexed, just subtle beauty. No visible tattoos. Nice and thick. It’s always good to see black love
She’s saving herself for me which I think is great. She knows I love her even in spite of her legs.
I co sign with Bossip. She is so smart. I wish some of my friends could think like her. SMH
Classy that’s all I gotta say. True Role Model
I don’t think she’s gay…smh I wonder where people get that from…but anyways thats good she’s taking her time instead of rushing into things and then divorce a year later.
I love ALICIA and wish her continued success in her life…
On the other hand I can’t help but to laugh at the HYPOCRISY of BOSSIP and some folks on these comment pages… People stay talking crazy about HALLE BERRY not getting married again (child or not) although she’s already tried marriage and shouldn’t have to get married again if she doesn’t want to. Then people are in here basically saying that marriage is overrated and people should take there time and do what suits them. WTF?! LOL! Don’t get me wrong, i’m not sure if any of YOU said anything about HALLE not being married… but ya’ll know good and well when she announced her pregnancy that was black folks main complaint on these sites. People should be happy for people regardless… LOVE is so hard to find, whocares who it’s with as long as others are HAPPY with themselves.
I also agree with “LADY ARCHITECT”, I don’t think she’s gay either, I think people just want something to talk about, because ALICIA is so private with her personnal life.
@ luvdemwyteboys
Recent studies revealed that BIG BLACK DICK is the cure for lesbianism.
@ luvdemwyteboys: SMH. There’s nothing wrong with interracial dating, but must you bash black men? If you or she are attracted to non-black people, fine. If it’s a BW-WM relationship you want, why do you feel a need to include BM into the equation? Trust. No good man is looking for someone with that sort of attitude. You’re black. Your biracial children will be viewed as black. Are you going to be bashing BM in front of your black son??
@ Lamar: homosexuality is not a disease. Gay people don’t need to be cured. As with the above, a relationship between two women does not mean there’s some issue with men. Men don’t fit into their equation. The biggest homophobes always seem to be outed as gay one way or another so every time someone bashes gay people, I assume it’s self-hatred talking. Example: Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, Larry Craig and men on the DL who always seem to be overcompensating by trying to act hard. I would feel more secure in a relationship with a man who wore pink polos than one with saggy pants, grabbing their balls. If you’re comfortable with your sexuality, you don’t need to act hard.
Oh, as for Alicia, she is too young and too busy to even think of marriage/partnership. I do think she’s a lesbian but it also doesn’t make a bit of difference.
@ daria
You’re right. I’ve been in such turmoil over my sexuality. It’s so hard being a woman trapped in this brutally hansome black male body. You don’t know what its like to go day to day seeing sexy beautiful women and just wanting to gather them in your arms and smother them kisses and ripping their clothes off and burying my face in between their thighs, tasting their sweet nectar. Damn, it’s hard being a lesbian sex fiend trapped in a homophobic blackmans body.
Some estrogen and progesterone treatments, a brow lift, shaving of the Adam’s apple, some implants and a little snippity snip will fix that.
Naw, i was just kidding, the ladies luv my dick…And who am i to deny all the women the pleasures and toe-curling sensations of my SHOTGUN OF LUVVVVV.
@Al Anon
I’ve been married 12 years, been with the same woman for 13 and agree 100% with you. People tend to look at the romance of marriage and not the work. That disillusionment is what leads to divorce. Couple tend to forget it’s rarely 50/50, or that there will be some earth shattering arguments. Then there are the “Friends” who know everything and always trying to give wrong advice (check out the Boondocks episode of two weeks ago). They forget the bride will not always look pretty in the morning. Or that the husband may not want to go to the gym. The sex may get boredom or lacking. Money may get tight. They forget about layoffs, school loans, medical problems, children needs, children rebellion, surprise property tax increase. etc etc.
I once heard that marriage is like a vase. The thin bottom is the romantic courting period. Then you have the wide middle where real life sets in and nothing seems right, then the fluting top where the problems are worked out and the true fun begins.
AK is smart to wait. I always advise young couple to do three things 1) take a marriage course to learn how to argue, 2)surround themselves with successfully married friends and family for advice, 3)Set goals to keep the marriage on track. Oh and one more thing-Grow up! Above all have fun and remember never stop courting each other.
boredom=boring.
Sorry, I didn’t spell check the above
@luvdemwyteboys
Don’t put much stock in the WM/BW “trend” in Hollywood. Hardly any of these relationships has lasted more than two years let alone end in the commitment of marriage. Worry less about Hollywood couples and more about your own relationships.
As for dick size. No report has ever said blacks where the ONLY ones with big dicks. But were more likely than other groups to have them. According to studies Africans have the largest at averages of 7-8″ whites at 6-7″ and asians at 5-6″. None of it matters since the average woman of any race is only 5-6″ deep. If you’re using porn for your reference I can tell you that those guys average around 7″ but the women they use are sometimes 5′3-5′5 so the dicks look bigger beside them. I know because I used to run an adult website before I got married.
And please please check out the Boondocks episode of two weeks ago. In it a woman who claims men are no good is told to take responsibitilies for her choices in men. That’s the third time I’ve seen a popular television show say this. It makes me think that folks are finally getting the idea about people who want to blame entire groups for their poor choices. Maybe writers are reading these Bossip comments and saying “Hey they’re right.” Your comment about black men tells me more about your choices than it does black men in general.
Lady Architect
I agree with you. Just because a woman doesn’t date every man she sees, or splash her lovelife over the airways, doesn’t mean she’s gay. I think AK is one of the few women showing class, and that’s the big reason she’s so popular. Rihanna take note.
@ Triple XXX
Funny that you should mention the whole bad choices thing. A while back, i posted a comment regard the same thing, under another alias
@ SMDH & Oh F@ck That!!!
It would appear that you two have obviously made multiple foolish mistakes in men…Don’t tell me, was it a weakness for thugs or fixer uppers?
Ladies, there are plenty of good black men out there working hard to etch out a living, who are also responsible and loyal…But lets’ be honest, you sistas don’t want that because you know and i know that eventually you’ll grow bored with all that stability.
A while back i posted as Church Jackson: “IN EVERY BLACK WOMAN LIES THE INNER THUG WORSHIPPER, THEY NEED A LITTLE MONSTER IN THEIR MEN- THEY JUST DON’T WANT TO ADMIT IT.” You two are the proverbial living examples of that quote. Its like that forbidden piece of candy - You know it’s not good for you, but you consume it anyway and the consequences (no matter how dire) be damned.
So now you come on this blog periodically to spread your bitterness and disapointment, hoping to find some like-minded souls to validate, what you think is the fault of black men in general.
Well ladies in the words of Jimmy Buffet “IT’S MY OWN DAMN FAULT”…So spare me and everyone else your tired “BLACK MEN AIN’T SHIT AND AIN’T NEVA’ GON’ BE SHIT” tirade, because it is nothing more than an excuse to cover up your pathetic pre-meditated victimization.
You knew the job was dangerous when you chose to go out with these “SLICK WILLIES, PLAYA PLAYAS, ROUGH NECKS, THUGS, BALLERS et al…But subconsciously, you and many of your ilk goes into these doomed relationships thinking that you can tame or change these emotionally stunted screw-ups with your magic vagina - Only to realize that it was an exercise in folly…And in most cases you come out of the relationship angry and bitter, thus villafying the whole black male gender instead of just chalking it up to your own poor choices in men…Some of you even have their children, knowing that they are emotionally and financially incapable of taking care of you or the child, and when he bolts, leaving you to gather whats’ left of your self-esteem and a child that you foolishly had to raise on your own.
Now i know that most of you sistas will always give in to your primordial urges when it comes to the “BAD BOY”, but after a certain age, you’ll have to gather enough discipline to quell those urges and grow-up! The virile nubian king does not exist, superman does not exist, the strong perfect black women does not exist, superwoman does not exist…The only thing that does exist is flawed, imperfect men and women who’ll make mistakes, some minor, some major, but for the most part they’re decent responsible people…So heal your hearts ladies and start looking for normal and reasonable qualities in your prospective mates and hopefully things will workout. Ciao.
^^^People should take responsibilities for their choices. But it’s not a black woman think. It’s a people thing.
First, anyone who puts themselves on the dating market is going to encounter some loosers. Its part of the process, and what makes the winners so much more valuable.
Second, I have friends from other cultures who always tell me that what is argued on Bossip is argued on blogs catering to their people as well. So it’s not a black woman thing. Everyone got comfortable in the blame game and are now being told to get up and grow up.
Third: it’s easy to point out Ballers and the like, but judge people by WHO they are, not WHAT they do. Back in my website days, some of the kinkiest, mean spirited attitudes against women came from professionals. They just had enough sense never to air them in mixed company. I heard everything from all types. Which is why I’m now jaded to the black/white men/women thing. Igorance and cruelity is not confind to any gender or color. But neither is goodness.
@ Triple XXX
First off, this is BOSSIP. So, white, latino, asian, etc. shouldn’t be used as a component in dealing with black on black issues, or at least until we as black people learn to clean up our backyard without using other etnicities as a model or yardstick.
You chimed in regarding the choices that luvdemwyteboys obviously made in dating the wrong blackmen, thus resulting in her negative opinions on the black male gender as a whole…So in this case, it is a black woman thing.
“it’s easy to point out Ballers and the like, but judge people by WHO they are, not WHAT they do.”
Now as you admitted being involved in the internet pornography business, i can see that you are a little sensitive in prejudging someone, but are you sure you want to take this tact? At the risk of using what maybe considered a cheap rationalization, what if the person is drug dealer, gangbanger, child pornogrer, et al. Are you implying that what they do should be dismissed, if they come off as being a nice person, thus making them “DATING MATERIAL” or God forbid a potential life mate? Just saying…
*Child Pornographer*
I liher her music and I like her new softer “look” and I hope that she gives dick a try because it does a body good. And maybe just maybe she will be able to squash the lesbo rumors once and for all….or at least discover who she really wants to be. hmmmmm?
@Triple XXZX
Couple tend to forget it’s rarely 50/50, or that there will be some earth shattering arguments.
LOL!!! It’s not 50/50, it’s more like 1/99 or 2/98. The most I’ve ever seen is a 10/90 and that was with my mom and dad. Sometimes, she let him win just so he could say he WON AT LEAST ONE!!! Marriage isn’t about winning arguments or getting over on each other.
She is beautiful! I love her! It seems she is single now. I saw her profile on millioniare dating site WealthyRomance.com last week. It is said she has a major crush on wealthy young guys on that site! Good luck to her search!
It’s hard to say anything about anyone’s mindset unless you know them personally. She does seem to be very busy. Marriage does take quite a bit of time. She is a very private person and I have a great deal of respect for that. She is famous and respected for her music and not for late night carousing and that’s the whole point.
@objective poster…Hey your right we don’t need to be looking at models of other races to clean up our backyard. We gotta do that. On another issue i’m tired of ya’ll saying there isn’t enough “decent” brothers out there. Why don’t ya’ll stake out a HBCU for some or start going to places where the decent ones kick it at. And to the ones that say they only want “thugs”…That isn’t true too..All women of all races want the “4 Keeps”
1. Keep that car running
2. Keep that job, corporate or not, keep one and contribute to the future.
3. Keep that grass cut
4. Keep that sex game proper
everybody wanna be like halle berry.so they could have bastard kids everywhere.yeah…fabolous.
^STFU
What’s with this marriage thing anyway?
Who says that happiness starts with marriage? Some white kat?–Oh, then it’s law huh? (geeze)
Mrs. Keys sounds like her head is on straight.( whew-thank god…)
As a matter of fact, in these times,one should NEVER marry. Those times are over.
TRUE LOVE DISSOLVED IN THE 60′S.People are out for what they can get..(i.e.-getting half when the marriage ends,million dollar insurances—etc.)
date! don’t marry! you keep your money and your sanity. Marriage is for the needy. Don’t believe me? Try it.
think
obama 08′
http://www.blackwiz.biz
DR. FUNK
Marriage is a DUMB institution anyway.”Until death do us part” made sense when we were living 65 years max…
—————————-
Black folks have no business denouncing the institution of marriage as dumb, when we have a 69-70% illegitimacy rate. Yes, marriage is not for everyone……….. but there’s something else happening in the black community. If you have people living together for 7, 8, 9 years, then what’s the hold off on getting married? If you’re with someone for that long, sleeping together, living under one roof together, why *not* take that extra step?
Or are black people’s problems too much for each other, man and woman?
If marriage is taking on the other person’s problems, then we as black people need to FIX our problems, don’t you think?
@ Tiray
If you don’t have anything intelligent to stay, please keep quiet. I grew up in a two-parent household and that’s what I want for my children one day.
Marriage is not for the needy — we need more of it in the black community.
By the way, since you support Obama, is he needy since he’s married?
Think.
Alicia a big dyke…
*intelligent to say*
Alicia is saying a lot in that article. She’s talking about the affect that downloading is having on the music industry. she’s talking about raising over $10 million dollars for her African organization. and yet yall chose this as a headline
Also, for the marriage naysayers, there have been studies on the impact of marriage, or lack thereof, on children. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution ran a column this week on the subject.
You can find the entire column at http://www.ajc.com (search under “unmarried parents”).
Here’s an excerpt:
The Caffey story coincides with release of a Brookings Institution study by Julia Issacs that tracked incomes of 2,367 families over 30 years. It found that two-thirds of the number, now grown to more than 8,000 families, have inflation-adjusted incomes higher than those of their parents. That’s true in about the same percentages for blacks and whites, Issacs finds. While median family income for both blacks and whites increased over those three decades, an income gap persists. “Between 1974 and 2004, white and black men in their 30s experienced a decline in income, with the largest decline among black men,” Issacs writes. Families beat their parents largely because more households had two breadwinners and because of gains in women’s incomes. As framed by The Associated Press — “decades after the civil rights movement,” the black-white income gap persists — this is a discrimination issue. Yet as Isaacs noted, “the lack of income growth for black men combined with low marriage rates in the black population has had a negative impact on trends in family incomes for black families.” At some point, the nation — and more importantly, influential blacks of the post-civil rights generation –really do have to address the harm intentionally inflicted on children by unmarried adults. When 69.3 percent of black children, 46.4 percent of Hispanic children and 24.5 percent of white children are born to unmarried women, the nation has a serious problem.
get ‘em LB… Bossip, you need to step up your game and get relevent.
Al-Anon
MOST PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN YOU MARRY A PERSON, YOU ALSO MARRY:
1. Your future
2. Your children’s future
3. Their money or lack of it
4. Their bills
5. Their idiosyncrasies, odd behaviors, ticks, habits, addictions, hobbies,
6. Their family
7. Their family baggage (ex-wives, ex-husbands, step children, in-laws, grandparents, cousins, etc.
8. Their ex-girlfriends, baby mamas, baby daddies, and their children
9. Their cooking and cleaning habits
10. Their friends
11. Their enemies
12. Their discipline
13. Their fame or lack of it
14. Their ignorance or brilliance
15. Their prejudices
16. Their phobias
17. Their psychological baggage
18. Their mental issues
19. Their pets
20. Their mortgages
21. Their car notes
22. Their problems
23. Their sexual issues
________________________________________________
I agree with MOST of what you said above. The parts I disagree with are stuff like money, bills, and debt. I don’t believe that my future husband (if I do get married) should have to pay my student loans or credit card bills. He didn’t get them so why should he have to pay them? I too wish people would think harder and longer before getting married. Also get a prenup.
@Devil’s Advocate
Thanks for that info^^^^. So blacks are leading:
1. abortions
2. Children out of wedlock
3. Incarceration
4. HIV/AIDS
Damn, when we gonna lead in something good?
Greeting’s Devil’s advocate!
Wow! I can even disagree with you without throwing insults….Wanna try it?
I DO applaude you having a 2 parent house-hold.That’s not what i question.I’m against the (INSTITUTION?) OF MARRIAGE!
It is proven to NOT WORK!
We are sold on what someone told us was good. MORE THAN HALF OF MARRIAGE DON’T WORK!
People kill another for insurance claims.
We don’t marry for love, and since the world has indded changed for the worse…MRS.KEYS-HAS THE COURAGE TO TALK OPENLY..She knows that hater’s can’t wait to expose and prosper from the rich!
Wht’s that word…ahm,err,,ah—WED-(LOCK)?
Yes…marriage IS for the needy!
THINK
OBAMA 08′
http://WWW.BLACKWIZ.BIZ
Good for her. She doesn’t take marriage lightly.
We are all in need of something in our lives. Needing isn’t wrong.In-need is!
Once we as blacks look at ourselves as someone who DESERVES a great life(honestly&openly& intelligently),we should never look to others for our(salvation).This is the reason for the problems in our communties around america!!
And those genius blacks who have found this out—-
rule.
obama 08′
think
http://www.blackwiz.biz
@ Tiray
You write in riddles that make my head hurt.
I think you need to read fewer stories about Shaq and Jordan’s divorce woes and other gossip, and review the sombering facts facing our community. It’s irresponsible of you to denounce the institution of marriage when our children would benefit from it.
We’re in a crisis and you’re citing plots from Lifetime movies. Give it a rest, please, and get back to our distressing reality.
THIS MESSAGE IS JUST FOR THE BOSSIP STAFF. THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THAT I HAVE READ “COON OF THE DAY” ON THIS SITE. I HOPE THAT YOUR STAFF WILL TAKE THE TIME TO RESEARCH THE WORD COON AND PUT A STOP TO USING IT NOW. I AM GOING TO GIVE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. IF YOU DON’T KNOW THEN YOU BETTER LEARN. I STARTED READING THIS SITE BY CHANCE COMING FROM ANOTHER SITE. I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ENTERTAINMENT AT FIRST BUT I SEE THAT IT IS NOT. I KNOW THAT YOU WILL LIKE TO CONTINUE TO HAVE THIS SITE UP AND RUNNING BUT IF YOU USE THE QUOTE “COON OF THE DAY” AGAIN I WILL HAVE TO ASSUME THAT YOU DON’T CARE AND WILL LIKE TO HAVE THIS REPORTED TO THE PROPER AUTHORITIES ON THE MATTER.
THANK YOU
XXX
Brains and beauty still exists after all…….
@XXX
I’m feeling you. But you know they say that they site is owned by white folks (would not surprise me) but to use it to me so negative toward ppl they don’t know shows ignorance, hatred, immaturity, and above all a troubled past.
This whole our community ish is all fine and well but no one is responsible for everyone else. All any person can do is be a good person and try to help others that not only want help but are willing to help themeselves. As a black woman I don’t feel bad when I see a black person going to jail. I feel bad for the situation they were born into but they must want better. Their choice.
Objective Poster
I believe there is a difference between character and vocation. Murder, rape, addiction, stealing are character traits that defines a person. On the other hand many people may have a particular job that reveals nothing about who they really are. For instance: doctors and teachers who are pediphils, cops who are rapists. I know many ‘thugs’ who dress and act the part but know no more about hoods than what they see on MTV. They behave this way because they believe it will get them accepted. An article here on Bossip, questions whether Jay Z was the big drug dealer he claimed to be. The suggestion is that he may have done little, if any, dealing. It is becoming common place now to hear that many of these rappers are nothing like their marketed personas. They are just selling records. So my point was to judge people on more than their resumes.
As for luvdemwhtyboys, do you honestly think her opinion represents the majority of black women’s? If not then her idea IS her individual problem not black women’s. There are way too many black women with black men. And I can see by the blogs here and other BLACK sites that most black women and men are responsible adults who do judge people by character and not sterotypes. Again there is a trend in the community of seperating idividual responsiblity from group blame.
And how can we begin to clean our own backyards if we’re constantly throwing trash in it? I think there is an element in the black community that actually hates itself and burdens blacks as a whole with every sin in the book. If other people are having the same problems then why should we act like the total dregs of the Earth? Get over it. If it is a shared problem then we can seek advice (if necessary) on how to fix it. We don’t have to start from scratch. And we don’t have to keep beating ourselves up thinking we’re the only screwups on the planet.
I honestly feel that blacks are so used to being dumped on that many have simply tuned out and are seeing themselves as being apart from the stats associated with the group. In other words there is a growing split in black culture; those that limit themselves to the stats and those who are saying “To hell with that, I may not change the world but I can better myself.”
Lastly, I had an adult website 13 years ago. No shame to it. I ran a site featuring nude, semi nude, and clothed models, the rawer pics were from other sites. Mine’s was a free site and the point of it was to showcase black erotica, and various aspects of black beauty (the clothed section). Big deal. Some of the models where in college, some where strippers, some were art models, some were suburban couples, some where adults who just wanted to pose. Again no big deal. People who would have been offender just didn’t login.
@:o)
Damn. Your last post was FIYAH!!!
Objective Poster
One last point; reading, investing, and going to college were once considered ‘white’ things. Math and science an ‘Asian’ thing. We are in a competitive market. We can not afford to stay isolated. Sure, we can have our values and priorities but we have to measure ourselves to the market because that is what the rest of the country is doing. Everytime we see stats putting blacks in the high tier of everything negative, don’t you think it would be wise to ask why isn’t everyone else that high? Conversly there are many positive stats that we belong to, which do not get near as much airplay because everyone, including us, are too busy concentrating on black negatives. Again, that’s why the more successful blacks are tuning out and dividing the community.
@ Triple XXX
Thanks for all your food for thought. Also, are you referring to the Pew Center study on the growing values divide among black Americans?
DANG! Alicia don’t want to get married! I guess I better take that ring back to the store. DANG
of course she doesnt want to get married because gay marriage hasnt been legalized. krucial should probably move on and start working with other artists because she doesnt seem to be as serious about him as he is about her. im sure she will do this song and dance for her entire career just like oprah has been able to get peoples minds off her love life and she is still successful and telling married women how to live their lives when she isnt even married so why are they taking advice from her on marriage and men.
@Devil’s advocate!
LOL@ our distressing reality!
I do admit that our race needs discipline. This discipline has nothing to do with false institutions that whites made for us to follow….which is not working at all!!
(Alot of blacks blame rap for black children not doing as well as they could)
(Now ,are we blaming UN-MARRIED parents?)
Again, i’ll say that it isn’t the marriage that holds a family together..( child abuse–happens more fom married parents..truth be told!)
DON’T follow so-called institutions that we didn’t make….they don’t work and they certainly don’t work for black-america!!
PS—what is lifetime? A tv show of some sort?
think!
http://www.blackwiz.biz
I WILL say, If black america feels that they MUST marry to feel better, please!–do so!
But pease keep this post,and refur back to it from time to time……..
think
http://www.blackwiz.biz
@……AND
I gotta disagree with you on your last statement!
I think that we ARE our brother’s keeper, and that it’s our WEAKNESS AND APATHY for our own race that keep us from venturing outside of our fences to help other blacks…..WHAT YOU HAVE JUST WROTE EXPLAINS OUR PROBLEM OF WITH BLACK AMERICA…
I know it’s pisses you off to see black make stupid mistakes, but if you know something that can help him get from point a to point b sucessfully…(and you don’t let him/she know….WHO’S REALLY AT FAULT!!
think
http://www.blackwiz.biz
Something tells me that she has something really deep, but very DL going on with John Mayer.
Alicia and Krucial are already married for your information, they just don’t put their business out there like that because they should be able to have a private life.
@ Triple XXX
I wasn’t alluding to education, reading, investing, etc., but the social dilemmas that constantly divides the black male and female, when dealing with the affairs of the heart…My bad, i should’ve made that more clearer.
Alicia and Krucial are already married for your information, they just don’t put it out there because they like their privacy…and agreeing with others, she talked about a lot more than marriage and yet you chose that little bit? Smh
SO LOL….hell naw Alicia will not be marrying “the COVER”!!!!!!!! Cause she really aint feelin ole dude/dudes….Go to be kids!
@ Devil’s Advocate & Nita
I can appreciate your research and stats regarding the negative affects on not being married while having children…Bue would it not be better served to address the irresponsibility of having children in the first place if both parties are ill-equipped to bare the burden of raising said child/children?
From what i’ve witnessed in my many years on this planet, whether the person(s) are married or not, most of them are undereducated, financially ill prepared + living in a piss poor environment to even consider marriage, let alone breeding.
@ Tiray
I totally agree with you in regards to marriage being for the emotionally co-dependent, and the fact that most marriages of late has the lifespan of a Spinal Tap Drummer. I find it hysterical that if a marriage last 5 to 7 years, it’s considered a good run. I was listening to talk radio a while back and they were discussing a new phenom that’s practiced amongst younger profession women called “The Starter Marriage”: It’s when they marry a person with the intent of leaving after 2 to 3 years as a test run until a better suitor come along - We’re living in cynical times.
tiray
@……AND
I gotta disagree with you on your last statement!
I think that we ARE our brother’s keeper, and that it’s our WEAKNESS AND APATHY for our own race that keep us from venturing outside of our fences to help other blacks…..WHAT YOU HAVE JUST WROTE EXPLAINS OUR PROBLEM OF WITH BLACK AMERICA…
I know it’s pisses you off to see black make stupid mistakes, but if you know something that can help him get from point a to point b sucessfully…(and you don’t let him/she know….WHO’S REALLY AT FAULT!!
think
_______________________________________________
First let me say that I agree completely with everything you said above but you missed my point. People have to want to help themselves. There is a plethora of resources that people do not exahaust. I truly believe that we are our brothers keep but I don’t have a remote control to my brother. He has to want to do better.
p.s. What I wrote is not the problem with black america b/c I am not responsible for black america. Each person has to take responsibility for their own actions. Period. That includes helping others but you can’t make someone take the help.
Tiray - I agree with you…
And…
Aren’t you a Christian? I am by no means religious, but didn’t Jesus Christ teach us to be selfless servants?
No, No, No, aren’t you an Oprah fan?
Love, support, influence, compassion, and empathy make the world go round.
Compassion and Empathy is the way to go, my dear. It takes a village to raise a child, so do your part and teach, support, and influence. Either that or shut the fuck up, because this dangerous, individualistic mindset of yours does not work well in this society - and you out of all people should know that.
Sometimes, all it takes is communication to change a person.
Bossip should favo Alica Keys on Beyonce..it’s warraned and she is not gay and folks know that!
just want to be cruel out of jealousy
Blacks aren’t getting married.
Whites aren’t staying married.
So nobody wins!
@ Objective Poster
Absolutely, there are many ill-prepared people who are becoming parents. I suppose I’m an idealist, and perhaps in the minority, because I still believe in the concept of putting the “marriage before the carriage.”
Speaking for myself, if I don’t consider a man “husband material,” I certainly wouldn’t consider him a suitable candidate to father my child. You can always divorce a man, but you’ll always be a parent, as will he, so I believe we, men and women, must choose our partners wisely.
And in reference to Tiray’s comments about using marriage as a way to happiness, I don’t subscribe to that unrealistic notion. I’m not married, and I agree that is a decision that requires much thought and care. You can’t look to another person to supply you happiness, nor to complete you.
And call me foolish, but I still believe in true love. I’m not looking to marry a man for material gain. I grew up watching the challenges and joys of my parents’ marriage, and I want that for myself when the time is right.
And, Tiray, Lifetime is a cable TV network geared towards women. When you mentioned people killing their spouses for insurance money, it reminded me of a TV movie of the week or some sensationalized tabloid story. There are still people out there who believe in genuine love and not what they can “get” from a person.
nahnah
Tiray - I agree with you…
And…
Aren’t you a Christian? I am by no means religious, but didn’t Jesus Christ teach us to be selfless servants?
No, No, No, aren’t you an Oprah fan?
Love, support, influence, compassion, and empathy make the world go round.
Compassion and Empathy is the way to go, my dear. It takes a village to raise a child, so do your part and teach, support, and influence. Either that or shut the fuck up, because this dangerous, individualistic mindset of yours does not work well in this society - and you out of all people should know that.
Sometimes, all it takes is communication to change a person
____________________________________________
As usual nahnah you are in a conversation that has nothing to do with you and I’m pretty sure that Tiray is intelligent and can speak for him/her self. Now down to business. Everything you said I agree with and I do so keep trying. As usual.
@Devil’s Advocate
Very well said.
she’s a lesbian.
alicia keys, i mean. you gotta be blind not to see it.
And…
So long as this is a public. forum, I will comment on whatever post I please.
Many of those who are ‘lost’ are stuck in a rut and will not get out no matter what, but you’d be suprised at how many folks are just in need of a little tender, love, and care - something that was absent in their life - by no fault of their own… And many are willing to take whatever opportunity that come their way. So if you can help, please do…
That is all I’m saying!
nahnah
And…
So long as this is a public. forum, I will comment on whatever post I please.
Many of those who are ‘lost’ are stuck in a rut and will not get out no matter what, but you’d be suprised at how many folks are just in need of a little tender, love, and care - something that was absent in their life - by no fault of their own… And many are willing to take whatever opportunity that come their way. So if you can help, please do…
That is all I’m saying!
_____________________________________________
That is all Tiray and I am saying but I added on that despite the love, support, and opportunity i.e. help, you give people they still have to want to do better.
P.S. I don’t recalling saying you couldn’t comment on my posts. In fact, I am beginning to think you have a crush on me.
@nahnah
Are you male or female?
Dec 1, 2007 - 7:47 pm La. Finest
That’s good she probably know just as many people as I do that jump into marriage and divorce in the next 2 or 3 years. Or married 10 years and end up ending because they just found out they weren’t compatible just together for the kids sake. And I never saw a group of people so worried about somebody esle’s sexuality.
^^^^^
It’s the pligh